being celibate in 2017 toyinwithfashion

CELIBACY IN 2017? Here’s What Your Favorite Bloggers Think

CELIBACY? IN 2017? Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!

First of let’s start off by defining Celibacy – It is the state of voluntarily being unmarried, sexually abstinent, or both, usually for religious reasons. In today’s post we’ll be focusing on being sexually abstinent before marriage.

So why not just say Chastity instead? Well, Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage.

Notice there’s the inclusion of thoughts and words in Chastity and also staying faithful in marriage, so since we’ll only be focusing on ‘actions’ before marriage in today’s post, we will be sticking to being sexually abstinent before marriage aka Being Celibate.

Being celibate is very difficult in today’s sex obsessed culture. From movies (even cartoons) to the most random people on Twitter. Nobody wants you to be celibate, they’ll rather you live your life and explore why? Because YOLO.

So i went ahead to get opinions on this topic from some of my favorite bloggers and here’s what they have to say.

Memkoh of Memkoh

Memkoh Celibacy

As a young Christian, your mind should be focused on other things, your future, career, dreams and accomplishments should take preeminence over your sex life or the lack of it. If you are already sexually active and you choose to be celibate, that’s good for you; it will open up room for clarity in a lot of things. If you are indulging in sexual activities for the wrong reasons, for example to feel among or to prevent your man from cheating or leaving you, I have to break it to you that you are already making a huge mistake.

At the same time, I understand that everybody is different and we are all at different stages in life. If abstinence or celibacy is not your jam, it just has to be done with the right person and for the right reason(s). Like my friend pointed out, based on the Holy Bible, there are technically no right reasons to have sex before marriage. However, that is between you, God and the relationship you have with him.

It is challenging to be celibate and not everyone is strong enough or at that point in their relationship with God. Key thing is, do not let it affect how you communicate with God and how strong your relationship with Him is. Most of all, remain sincere to yourself as that is the only way you can remain sincere and open to God; a sincere heart is all He ever asks for.

In summary, if you treat sex like your all, that’s all there will ever be to you – your sex appeal.

if you treat sex like your all, that's all there will ever be to you - your sex appeal Click To Tweet

Trust your instincts, choose your sex partner wisely (if at all) and if you do decide to be celibate, talk to your partner about it and let your “no” be no. Nobody should force you to be where you don’t want to be present at.

 

Collins of TheStreetHaute

Collins on Celibacy

Celibacy is basically abstaining from sex. In the present day we live in, people have found their ways around the meaning and some have even turned it to a means of competition which makes it lose its meaning day after day. As Christians, I know we are supposed to keep ourselves till marriage. It sounds hard. I know it’s hard. The sexual frustrations will always come. It’s something I’m sure most of us have encountered.

There was a time I was considering breaking my celibacy. I discussed with a friend and eventually came to the realization that it isn’t worth it (my opinion).

Breaking your celibacy isn't worth it Click To Tweet

I’m not one to tell people what to do but put into consideration the end result and let’s not forget the ultimate love Jesus has for us.

 

Sogie of ItsDivaDiaries

Sogie on Celibacy

Sex is mainstream and gets so publicized now and as a young Christian it’s easy to fall into the “everyone is having it”  trap or the “if I’m not having it i’m naive” trap. NO everyone is not having sex and you deciding to keep yourself doesn’t make you naive.

NO everyone is not having sex and you deciding to keep yourself doesn't make you naive Click To Tweet

You have the right to your body and can do whatever you choose to. Celibacy is a personal decision you can see I’m not trying to tell you what to do but if you are wondering if you would be able to do it or don’t know how just Remember that God gives us strength in everything we do so lay it at his feet.

 

Jennifer of JenniferAmani

Jennifer Amani on celibacy

Celibacy actually means abstaining from marriage and sex voluntarily, I do think the term is used loosely so I don’t use it at all. Sex before marriage has been normalized in society now which is really sad. Like sex is practically shoved in our faces with billboards, music, movies, even in primary schools in some parts of the world they are introducing sex education into the curriculum.

So it’s all over the place, the bible makes it very clear that sex is for married people and there are reasons for it. It’s a gift to married people only, it’s something that God created for MARRIED people to enjoy, to reconnect or to even bond. Sex makes you emotionally vulnerable to your partner there’s a bond/ attachment formed.
A lot of young people just do it because their friends are doing it, some were abused when they were younger so already that door has been opened from a young age, some have daddy issues and are looking for love and some are empty and they turn to sex for a quick satisfaction.
It’s a very deep topic and I choose to believe what the bible says to just wait. It’s a beautiful thing waiting for your husband and vice versa because that’s what it’s meant to be. Waiting I believe is a way of honoring God and also your partner.
It requires a lot of discipline as temptations will come but doing it the right way I believe is the best way.

I think the message is very clear- Celibacy is hip and cool! And no not everyone is having sex.

So there you have it people. What are your thoughts concerning Celibacy?  

15 Comments

  • Sarah July 23, 2017 at 8:19 am

    Society makes sex before marriage seem okay but as Christians we know what our Bible says, we don’t even have to pretend. I agree with what Collins said, its not worth it because it will affect our relationship with God. Again our convictions are not the same but sin affects our relationship with God and sex is sin. How can one even pray when they know God’s angry with them, not possible, I’ve been there. Now it won’t be easy especially when one’s in a relationship but when Jesus Christ died he gave us the power over sin. So maybe the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak but we’ve got this. We just have to make a conscious effort to avoid putting ourselves in situations that will make us fall and also screening what we see in the media, basically keeping ourselves pure. And for my non Christians, I am not forcing my convictions on others but it is my prayer that you see Gods light. But I say save it for someone special, it will save you from a lot of issues. Love this post girl, shout to all you guys for keeping things candid. This is a topic we all like to avoid but it must be discussed.

     Princess Audu 

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde July 23, 2017 at 8:47 am

      Avoiding putting ourselves in compromising situations is really key. Lol the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak is a favorite line of so many (including myself) so may God help us all.
      Thanks so much for your amazing response to this post, glad you enjoyed it 🙂

      Reply
    • WanShyGirl July 23, 2017 at 9:28 pm

      Sarah has said it all so I don’t need to reiterate. It’s not easy but it’s worth it plus sometimes ago someone was trying to disregard being celibate saying that a popular comedienne maintained her chastity till marriage and still go dumped. The point is it’s not even for your parents or your husband, so long as the Creator is proud of ya that’s all that matters.

      Reply
  • Ada July 23, 2017 at 9:01 am

    Being celibate especially in our world today seems old fashioned and that’s because we all have lost our values as Christians however in any way we look at this, the word of God still remains firm whether or not his people change. It’s quite hard to be celibate but it’s definitely possible to do. This post is very enlightening, you are doing a great job my dear

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde July 23, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      The word never changes!! Thank you so much Ada!!

      Reply
  • Onaolapo Yettie July 23, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Thanks For sharing I know it’s not easy at all and many youths thought they’re doing God a favour and alongside they give up ..More Grace y’all

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde July 23, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      Thanks Sis for stopping by

      Reply
  • Ose July 23, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    Lol I just want to say being asexual is totally different from being celibate

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde July 23, 2017 at 5:45 pm

      haha yes i noticed that and it has since been changed. Thank you girl and also for signing up 🙂
      Hope you stick around

      Reply
  • Ellapinkette July 24, 2017 at 7:56 am

    This is such an amazing topic. The painful part is when people make you feel like you are pushing or condemning them because they aren’t celibate. Meanwhile it is the other way round most times. As a young Christian, there’s always so much pressure. The way out is just to fix your eyes on what you want. Your main focus is on God and to please him. And avoid situations that put you at risk. It is always such an amazing feeling when you remember that you almost opened that door. But then you shut it right back.

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde August 1, 2017 at 9:25 am

      you’re absolutely right!! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!!

      Reply
  • Boluwatife August 5, 2017 at 3:18 pm

    This was my dilemma in a relationship I was in with this guy; we eventually ended things(or maybe things ended themselves, haha). He claims it was some kind of connection he wasn’t having, then went ahead to send me screenshots from someone’s IG page describing how you could sincerely love your partner, but because you weren’t having sex – it might not work out. Yada yada

    You would still love this person, but just couldn’t be with them. Because of Sex. Okay sir
    I consoled myself by telling him that people before us have abstained from premarital sex, and people after us still would. And he wasn’t the God Ordained one, after all.
    I’m for all Sogie said, it’s your body and you decide, not everyone is having sex. Your relationship with your Father shouldn’t be compromised for something so short-lived.
    Collins, I pray you find the flesh of your flesh when it’s time. God bless you.
    Long ass comment, we’re sorry.

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde August 9, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      hahaha i appreciate your long ass comment lol and you did right hun! Thanks for sharing your story, i’m glad you could relate to the post 🙂
      Don’t be a stranger on the blog henceforth

      Reply
  • Live In Ibadan August 9, 2017 at 11:26 am

    This is really cool and I’m glad you’re promoting this on your blog. It’ll go a long way in creating a reconception in the minds of youths that abstainence from sex is right unlike what the society preaches nowadays. Keep it up!

    http://www.liveinibadan.blogspot.com

    Reply
    • Toluwalade Toyin-Kehinde August 9, 2017 at 1:01 pm

      thank you so much, glad you enjoyed this!

      Reply

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